How to recover from emotional abuse in Nigeria

He doesn’t hit you — so is it really abuse? Yes. In Nigeria, emotional abuse is often hidden behind “he loves you” or “that’s how men are.” But love should never make you feel small. Here are the signs you’re in a toxic relationship.

1. Constant Criticism

“You’re useless,” “No one else will marry you” — this erodes your self-worth.

2. Guilt-Tripping

“If you loved me, you’d do this” — manipulation disguised as love.

3. Isolation

“Why are you chatting with your friends?” “Your family is bad influence” — he cuts you off from support.

4. Silent Treatment

Days of ignoring you after an argument — a power move, not discipline.

5. Financial Control

He gives you “allowance” like a child, or monitors every kobo you spend.

6. Public Humiliation

Makes jokes about you in front of friends or family — then says “I was just playing.”

7. Threats

“I’ll marry someone else,” “I’ll tell everyone your secrets” — fear as a tool.

What to Do

• Talk to a trusted friend or pastor
• Contact NGOs like Mirabel Centre or WOTCLEF
• Save evidence (texts, voice notes) if you plan to leave

Remember

You are not crazy. You are not overreacting. Abuse thrives in silence — break it.

FAQs

Can emotional abuse lead to physical violence?

Yes. It’s often the first stage. Don’t wait for bruises to act.

Conclusion

Love builds you up — it doesn’t tear you down. If you’re walking on eggshells, it’s not love. It’s control. And you deserve better.